Abolishing Pain

Today was hard. Relationships with mothers are hard. At least with mine. I care about our family a lot... most times I think I care about it more than my mom, dad, or brother. And it's hard when someone accuses you of not caring & not putting forth effort. If anything, I run away from the relationships within my family because there is too much pain from the past that keeps creeping up from behind me. Then it catches up and says "I'm ba-ack..." in a tantalizing tone & I end up reliving the pain. Pain SUCKS. There is too much pain in my life... so I try to abolish it peice by peice... by ignoring things, situations & people so I don't have to feel emotion. But that doesn't solve anything, now does it?

Ludwig Van Beethoven

"Music is... a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy."

Goodbye- V. Dawg

i am b-A-ack into the rEaLwOrLd... Ready to put my ZA-nee mind to the test-

my life has been turned upside down- what will I do with all the rest?

Don't know what to do, don't know what to say. don't know where to turn, don't know where to lay.

Where to lay my head, I don't even have a bed. My family turned their backs on me - they aren't bein who they said.

This throws a wrench in our plans, no-no, it throws a bomb. Everythins blown up, blown up into different plans.

Where will we go from here, which way will our wheels roll? Tear out the map, close your eyes, put your finger on the prize -
Grow some courage, get the truth - i don't want no more lies.

We'll start over, try somethin new
With God's grace we'll know what to do
We'll leave it all behind but we won't forget-
all the lessons we've learned, all our kids that we met.

We'll take the memories, we'll leave the pain,
we'll take the love, leave the regret.

We love you taylor, we love you Tabi, we love you Lara, we love you Lindsey. We love you Staci, we love you traci, we love you Cori, and we love you Kacie. We love you Stephanie, we love you Sam, we love you Irina, and we love you Kayla.

We love you Stephanie, we love you Abby, we love you Amy, we love you Chelsea and we love you Whitney. We love you Joy, we love you Gwen, we love you Abigail, We love you Christian, and we love you Jamilia.

We make special mention of Jon, Dan, Jesse, Trevor, Chris, & Uriah.

We will never forget you & we are still here for you.
Much love, Kris (Relief Teamleader, Housefather & Teamleader) and Virginia (Counsellor, Housemother & Groupleader).